Guy and Nicole
Guy and Nicole, both mid 40’s, have been together for ten years and have enjoyed a rich and varied sex life, choosing occasionally to include another sexual partner.
Eight years into the relationship, Nicole found a business receipt which revealed that Guy had continued a habit of 'detached' sex with young female escorts, often on business trips.
In disbelief Nicole contacted a local ATSAC couples’ therapist and they both began therapeutic work, initially focussing on what the relationship boundaries might look like at this crucial stage.
After some group sessions, Guy committed to individual work, and Nicole had some sessions of EMDR to help with the trauma she felt on discovery. For quite some time Nicole struggled with a myriad of emotions that felt, at times, intolerable.
Triggers included hotels, music, alcohol and some financial transactions.
For Guy the realisation of how close he had come to losing his wife and family was initially slow in arriving. Reality dawning was stressful, manifesting for a while in chest pain. He has been successful in maintaining his recovery and has not acted out since that time.
Two years on, Guy and Nicole have renegotiated their relationship and pay particular attention to planning ahead, for example, holidays, and keeping regular emotional dialogue. Although this can be a particular challenge for some couples, they have maintained a close physical relationship throughout this time, which is important to them both.